Compl---

This is why blogs are fucked up. Sometimes something occurs in your life, and you want to tell people about it, but you want to keep it to yourself. But you want to write it down to remember how you felt, yet you'll never read it again.

Today I met up with my ex. She emailed me a couple weeks ago and said she was moving away, and wanted to give me a couple things back. I was jealous she was leaving town, then I started wondering, why is she leaving, where is she going, etc etc.

She's moving to be with a guy. She met him on Match.com. I'm happy for her, and hope that she's happy and taken care of. It's been about a year since I last spoke with her, and she seems to have matured a good bit.

We met up around 6:30 and let the animals play. Mine will attack others, but not hers, he loves hers more than anything he loves to play with them, it always makes me so happy when he plays with them. I swear the hardest part was saying goodbye to her animals tonight, they were a big part of my life.

Part of me misses her, but a bigger part of me knows that it wouldn't work out, heak, it didn't. Maybe I just want that warm feeling, when you are naive and don't care, when you feel safe and comfortable, you clicked, you're with the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with. Right now, the girl I'm seeing, she makes me feel really good, she's a great girl, I just maybe feel like there's a spark missing ... I'm not even sure why, she really IS special. Why can't I find a person I click with so completely that I am blind to everything else in the world.

I don't miss my ex, I miss that feeling of completeness that I had, that is what I miss. I hope I haven't lost that completely, I hope to know that feeling again some day.

The Chick, eh

So a few weeks ago now the chick and I had a talk.

I explained how I think we're on different levels, and etc etc, I'm not sure where this is going, etc. She seemed cool with it, and I've been feeling sOOOOO much better about the relationship in general.

Anyways, she went home for a week for a procedure. She's from another country, English speaking ... I don't know how much it costs to call over there, I figured it was like $5 to connect and $1/minute or something recockulous ... so I decided not to call her while she was gone. She knew I wasn't going to call though, especially like because when you're home, it's more up to when you have free time when you can talk as opposed to when someone calls you, etc etc.

Anyways, she puts in her blog (she doesn't know I know about) about what an asshole I am and how she feels awful, etc etc. The one of her friends writes about how boys are immature pricks ... then the chick writes back about my excuses about how I didn't hear the phone and didn't know how much calls to the country cost, etc.

Well excuse-fuckin' me, I said I wasn't going to talk to her until Sunday night, so just because I was MIA as promised for Saturday and Sunday until the evening, go bark up another fucking tree.

I didn't hear the phone. I wasn't gonna call out of the country, though I called Sprint and found out it's only 48 cents a minute, so I could have called real quick, but still, then it defers back to the her time at home vs my time.

Anyways, she posts all bad ass in her blog like she's going to be single soon. We'll see what a hard ass she is when I pick her up tonight. I got her a card, stuffed animal and a balloon. I hope she feels like a shit head after what she wrote, but if she gives me the riot act or wants to get into it over that crap, then I'd love to be single again ... bring it on ...

chicks

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speaking of chicks, my ex emails me last week saying she's moving. That's a whole other blog in itself. I'm supposed to get up with her sometime this week to find out where she's going and say goodbye to her puppies (dogs, not boobs, though those were HUGE) ... anyways ... at first it really bothered me, now I"m over it ... I hope after seeing her I'm still blaze about it ... we'll see.

I have to get back to my work before I get caught slacking off this badly!

-Dude

Race from hell

This weekend I needed a win to secure my points standings for the season. In my pre-ride of the course I fell and busted my gera shifters. This means I had to complete the race in a fixed gear, aka single speed.

It was a true test of spirits ... I didn't expect to do well, but surprisingly I got 4th. I'm upset about it because I was in 1st and then 2nd for most of the race, but towards the end I started falling here and there, and I got a bad calf cramp from the additional strain of the tough gear I was stuck in.

*sigh*

Anyways, I get props from fellow bikers because going single speed is pretty hardcore, but I wanted to do better. Though it's not like I underperformed, my equipment malfunctioned.

I can still be pissed though, right?

Oh well, 3 more races and then I'm DONE! YEEEHAAA! I really can't wait. I've got a new mark this weekend ... he's going down ... and then I'm going to be the undisputed champ.

I hope my calf feels good by Wednesday so I can work on it a little before the race next weekend.

Oh, and speaking of next weekend, I have to find someone to watch the animal for me ... usually I take him, but this weekend will be too much. Have to start polling my friends, see if anyone is up for it. I've already been rejected by one. Fucker.

-Dude

Roommates.com So Easy

Last week I got a message on Roommates.com. So I signed up for $3 to give it a whirl since my easyroommate.com fiasco.

Ends up I might have a roommate in just over 2 weeks when she moves here to start a new job. So far the process has been pretty simple, though I consider myself fairly easy to get along with.

Should make a nice dent in the current expense level ... I'm kind of excited! Though extremely nervous since I've never seen her or anything. Then again, we're just talking about a roommate here, not dating or anything, so I have to put some things that I'm really curious about beside.

It was weird because we were asking eachother compatibility type questions, because you have to be compatible to live with someone, but only to a certain extent. What extent exactly I've never been able to put my finger on ... but anyways, I'm rambling ...

I have another subject or two to talk about ... so I'm ending this one.

-Dude

EasyRoommate not so easy ...

I just sent out 13, cout 'em, 13 emails to people who seemed like we might be ok to room together. I sent out 3 last week and only heard back from one person, saying they'd found a room.

It seems to me everyone wants to live with a chick, and I don't have tits. Argh!

Oh well, someone will bite, and then thing$ will ease up around here!

-Dude

VOTE OR DIE

I got 2nd place this weekend. I'm content with that, but I'm going to beat ass in the upcoming events because it didn't feel that great ... second place is the first LOSER!!!

I got the animal some new flea shit called Cap-something, it's a pill that kills fleas in minutes! Truly amazing shit. I think he's happy now ... he's between my legs right now sleeping on the couch.

I'm working at home today because no one is in the office. I really don't feel like doing much of anything, but, well, I'm just procrastonating a little, I'm more effective when I'm at home, so when I get to it things just zip zoom fly out.

On to the title bout ... vote or die, I'm not sure who thought of the "die" part ... I'm more partial to the choose or lose phrase. Anyways, I'm going to go vote shortly, I just, well, all the local county type stuff I'll probably just skip. I'm going to vote for president and state ammendments.

It's crazy driving around town today though, there are people all over with signs just standing and waving. I'm wondering if they have anything better to do. I mean, that shouldn't affect how I vote, some clown on a fucking street corner with a sign. Fuck that.

Anyways, there's some good shit on MTV right now about issues and what not.

I gotta get my shit together, it's already 2pm.

-Dude